I’ve been thinking a lot about my family recently. Not that I ever go terribly long without thinking of them, but the recent repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and an election filled with so much hate I could feel it as far away as Switzerland makes me think about my family even more.
For those of you who don’t know, my family is a little unique (although probably not as unique as you think). I have four parents, three of whom are women. No, that doesn’t mean that my dad has been married three times, it means that both my father and my mother remarried women after they divorced each other when I was fourteen. I’m proud to say that both of my parents are happily remarried, and I can always find joy in the happiness they find in their partners.
And you know what? That should be enough. I’m tired of hearing politicians, religious leaders, and citizens alike talk about how the children of LGBTQ parents are in some way deprived. How two gay parents can’t possibly do as good a job as two straight parents. How being inclusive of all families is in some way threatening to “traditional” families. The only reason I can think of that a child raised in a LGBTQ home might have trouble growing up is the ignorance, bullying, and hateful words of others. I can say for myself that I never lacked for love or guidance.
If defending both my mother and my father’s sexual orientation is in some way proof that I have been “brain-washed” in the environment I grew up in, let me say this: I grew up in a more accepting, loving household than most of my peers could ever hope to. I grew up with the option to truly be anything I wanted to be. I grew up with parents that would walk to the ends of the earth and back for me. I grew up with respect for all cultures, all citizens, all genders, all sexual orientations, all religions. That openness and acceptance is what makes me who I am, and I cannot think of any way to cast it in a bad light.
If the world is ever to truly achieve peace (which is how this post is at all related to Christmas, for I’m sure many of you have heard something along the lines of “peace on earth” this holiday season), we need to start at home. We need to start by accepting our neighbors, by giving all of our own citizens the freedom to marry, to have their equal love validated, by sending a message that we no longer stand for the inequality and bigotry that seems to be flourishing right now. If we can build peace, freedom, and equality within our own boarders, then, perhaps, we can begin to lead the world by example, rather than through force and lies.
This all sounds very idealistic, doesn’t it? I know that nothing is ever that simple, but I also know that a smile can make someone’s day. By showing each other a little kindness, we can perhaps begin to build bridges that are desperately needed between all the members of our communities, and avoid the shocking losses through suicide and bullying, misinformation and misunderstanding that are silencing important voices that are crying out to be heard. Hateful words and hateful actions have consequences beyond the anticipated.
I love my family, as I’m sure most people love theirs. I’m asking for understanding right now, simple understanding. Please learn to understand that love comes in many colors, and that hateful words shouldn’t be directed at any kind of love. Please learn to understand that families come in many shapes and sizes, and, most of all, the next time you meet a family like mine, please notice the things you have in common with us, not the differences, as well as the abundance of love.
